Christians are straight up FREAKS
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
