hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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