she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
