I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
