CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
