We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
