Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
