It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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