yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize