a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we're making bets on your personal life
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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