"it" just moved
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize