I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
