i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize