Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
