One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
