Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
