My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
