Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
