the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize