As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
