i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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