Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
