I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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