Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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