Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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