I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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