yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
