batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I smell stomach acid.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
