we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
