anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You need a sexual gate keeper
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can't trust your balls anymore.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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