I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize