last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
