Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
