we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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