You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
