It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
