Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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