i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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