Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
