You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize