i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
