so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
