Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
