he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Your penis caused this!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
