used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
