Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
