Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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