just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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