I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize