Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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