Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
