roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
