I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
