i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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