i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
this is an emotional support booty call
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
