As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize