Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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