my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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