i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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