Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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