did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
