That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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