he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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