Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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