he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
