So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
