he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
