I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
