either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If I die, sorry about rent.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
