I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dicks are not precious.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
