so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
