Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just had sex bonerless
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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