Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
