i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dick very happy bro
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
