Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
