Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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