It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
