I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
