I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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