the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hippo gnu deer
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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