YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Someone came in the potted fern
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
