somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
