I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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