SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
