def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
